House Sitting

Here are a few handy hints I've learnt...

- Try and pick up dog poo before it rains. Nasty!

- If you don't get to the cat vomit quick enough... the dog will.

- Never go shopping on an empty stomach.

- When you have vistitors over- always go to bed last. Otherwise things 'mysteriously' don't work in the morning.

- Always put the bins out! Even if you feel sorry for the truck drivers and think they deserve a sleep in on Christmas day!

Lastly: make dedicated effort to make the most of: boxing bag, reclining sofas, double bed, foxtel with all channels, peace and quiet, a dog to go running with and a spa bath!

One and a half weeks to go!

Avatar

Ok wow! Best creatively designed movie I've seen in such a long time, if not ever! I got in my car ...at 1230 at night and felt this overpowering desire that I was invincible on the roads. That if need be I could fling my car on its side to dart around obstacles in my upcoming path. Needless to say I reminded myself that 'NO- my car is not a spaceship' and everyone's safety was held in high regard.

I also have a slight obsession with nature and all things that glow, sparkle and are unusual to the eye so let's just say- I'm captivated. The scenery; forests and mountains and seas...the flowers and vines and creatures...It took my breath away and I'm still waiting for it to return.

There was a moment where the Avatars struck a very similar resemblance to the Israelites (from the Old Testament). The main dude (in Avatar) said something like "they have no home, they have no hope" and it was at that point that they collectively returned to the only answer and hope they knew.... their replica of God.

Their 'community' got me thinking as well. The close knit way they lived, regarding themselves as 'brothers'. Commitment to love and be with only One other for for the rest of their life. The high regard they had for their environment, creation was precious to them...sacred. Life was precious...sacred.

I hope I can live with as much passion as they did. I know it's just a movie but there is always something to be learnt. I'd go see it again- give me a holla' if ur keen!

On another note, just watched Hannah Montanna the movie and shed a few tears. Umm... what's wrong with me?!

Autumn

I'd be your Autumn any day!

We'll be amazing,

I know for sure.

I just haven't met you yet!

December Fifteenth, Two Thousand and Nine

Went for a walk today through the rose gardens just doing my thing.

Unknowingly singing out loud to myself I stumbled across an elderly pair of lover birds having an intimate little moment amongst the blossoms. Ahhh I just wanted to stop and stare, it was just soo.... refreshing?! Soo old and yet soo excited to spend time with each other and share a sneaky snog.

The smiles on their faces were needless to say contagious. So I continued to frolick along my way... with a few sporadic outbursts of giggles... Praying that I too will share that kind of excitement with someone in the days my wrinkles become more apparent!

3/12/09

Trying to do essays with EIGHT people now living in the house. Certainly testing my patient/disciplined/concentrate through anything skills. I wish there was a facial expression to describe how I feel right now!

Extract from one of my readings ( I rather liked):

"The biblical vision of justice springs from the conviction that God LOVES justice and that this love is an ACTIVE love which issues in His putting right situations of injustice. God's people follow Him in doing justice; that is, restoring to the community all those who , through misfortune, calamity, deprivation or oppression have been hitherto excluded. For this to be achieved, resources and opportunities must be opened up to all. Justice is a necessary means to human recreation and reconciliation."

- 'The Message of Mission: The Glory of Christ in All Time and Space'

1/12/2009

Summer- I welcome you with open arms!

Today:

- Been a week since I returned from OS. Still feels like my mind is in a far off land... I hope it comes back soon.

Can't stop thinking about the kids in Nusa Penida. Such simple things we did made a lifetime impact in their worlds. Like providing a child with crutches (for only $35) so he had something to stabilize his walking at school. At the age of 15 he has never been at school because he simply "couldn't walk". Another girl, an orphan, has never gone to school because she doesn't have a uniform. In order to go to school you HAVE to have an uniform. Why on earth on such a small disadvantaged island you would have such a rule is one I cannot understand. Regardless though- $14 or so got her a uniform and now she has access to an education. Such simple things.

I think it's soo unfair that if these kids were born in Australia there lives would be completely different. Why should location determine simple things like education? I know that there's many different debatable reasons and complications, but whatever they are...I still think it sucks!

Little ones in Nusa Penida- I hope you sleep well tonight. Im thinking of you xox

30/11/2009

November what happened? We were playing, having fun and now you are up and leaving....

Today:

- I'm sitting in the "Board Room" of my house working on an essay. I just hit the 500 word mark and am now back to doing some more reading. For all those curious here is the essay question "discuss how the Mission of God to all nations is reflected in the call of Abraham and in the nation of Israel, his descendants?"

I'm actually really enjoying it. Not the essay writing part- but more so the learning part of the Old Testament. Crazy stuff

- I'm also enjoying laughing at the sporadic outbursts of hard rain against the window behind me that lasts for 3 seconds and then gives up. Nature just wants me to come play- I get the hint.

- Last night of Life Group for the year tonight. Been a good year of friendship, laughs, encouragement and prayer, accountability and growth! Looking forward to chillin like villains.

- Am now wondering about the saying "chillin like villains" If I was a villain... I would not be chilling I would be in a constant state of panic and alertness. That's probably why I'm not a villain though..

- What else is going on in life: day by day pondering the mandate God has placed on my heart/life. And how exactly that will be displayed next year. Job wise/ Discipleship wise/ Extra responsibility wise... Who knows what i'll do/Where i'll go/Who i'll meet....

Life Is Fun Fun Fun! I can genuinely say that I am enjoying just being me. Right now I wouldn't have it any other way!

Deborah

Deborah- The ancient prophetess!

What a hero!

Deborah- was a woman of the faith by her own merits. She wasn't related or married to one of the men we know heaps about. She became great and highly regarded based solely on her faithfulness to her relationship with her God. In my eyes she was probably one of the greatest women in the Bible.

The story's part of the Old Testament where the Israelites are continually disobeying and turning from God, He raises up leaders (Judges) to guide His people back to Him. Deborah was one of these Judges. If you have time- read the story! I really enjoyed and appreciated learning about her today.

God- Thanks for heroes of the faith we can learn from xox

-> She's found in Judges 4 & 5.

Success

"Consider the postage stamp. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there"

-Josh Billings

Beauty

Admittedly- Yes.. I am procrastinating from going to bed. Unsure why...I love sleep?! However- whilst sitting listening to the new church worship playlist I was looking at the flowers one of my besties (Ramon :) ) got me for my bday- 5 weeks ago!!!

They're not just any flowers- they're my favourite- he knows me well! They always last for ages and are simply exquisite. For a few weeks, I've been picking off some of the dead ones and trimming back the stems. I'm looking at them now close up and there is still quite a few in that phase- where implosion is seconds away....the outside petals are about to burst with life but they haven't quite made it. Then there are several buds that have been permanently stuck in that phase, as they start to wrinkle and die off.

Although the buds still look stunning- it makes me sad to think that their one purpose in life never got fulfilled. All that was ever seen was the outer beauty they had to display. From my perspective I can see the potential beauty and life that could have been. But that's the sad part- the buds have died off as "could have beens".

As girls in today's world we have that same opportunity hey. I don't want to rely on my 'ridiculously good looks' to get me noticed in this world. I know and believe with all my heart that my Father in Heaven looks down and whilst seeing my outer looks (that He Himself created) He more importantly sees my Heart, and the life and beauty that it beholds. He sees a heart that is given opportunity time and time again.

I want to unleash the inner beauty that is lacking in the world today. I want to fulfill my purpose in life and not be a "could have been". After attending my auntie's funeral last week it reminded me of how any one of our lives can be cut short at any moment. We don't have any time to waste- every day and moment that it with holds is too precious to let slip by.

Let's actually live up to the potential God sees in us...!!!

1 Peter 3:4- Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Memories

I love my Aunty Sue

* I loved that she was my God mother

* I loved that she was cheeky and always made me chuckle

* I loved that she faithfully prayed for us kids that we would know the love God has for us.

* I love that she spoke encouragement and prayers at my Baptism.

* I love that she was still saying silly things making us laugh when she was fighting for her life...

* I love that on the day she knew she would be with Jesus she wanted to wear the silliest pajamas she owned... to look her finest. Cookie Monster haha... we're talking a 53 year old women here. Ahhh we're so similar.

* I love that nursing staff from near and far would make detours whenever they could to pop in, give her a kiss and a cuddle to check how she was doing. Always a fave.

* I love that she gave her life for God, such a true woman of God. Girls ministry, schools ministry, prison ministry.... she gave it all.. through treatment and pain. What a role model for faithfulness & perseverance.

* I love that she financially gave whatever she could, despite her own circumstances.

* I love that despite us missing her and wishing she could have stayed...she's no longer in pain.

* I love that I can write this knowing I'll see her again someday...

... I wonder what i'll be wearing ;)

I love you Aunty Sue.. until the day I see you again. Kiss Hug Kiss Hug

Reminder

After an exhaustive weekend and emotions running wild....I found a little reminder

Grace

Precious Abba,

"My heart is ever at your service!"

I love learning about the intricate ways you have weaved yourself through the pages of our History. Again and again we failed you, and again and again your Grace permeates...

The wonder of your love.... I'm left looking heavenward. Smile on my face. I'm in awe.

I love you. 

Chuckles with God

As if God doesn't have a sense of humour.....

Anonymous

I love you anonymous bloggers!

You make my day xox

Mother Teresa

So on Tuesday at work I stumbled across a little rainbow. Unfortunately I missed out on the leprechaun but my little pot of treasure awaited. There upon boxes and boxes of stuff delivered to our office was a heap of second hand books. Did someone know my birthday was nigh?

Mel and I searched all through these two boxes of books, collaborating a mini library for the bookshelf up at Stringybark. There in the midst of dust bunnies, sneezes and dead spiders lay this book. "Something beautiful for God." Ahh... I'd finally found it. A book on Mother Teresa's life.

What an amazing woman. To think that a life lived simply devoted to her King could impact the world in the way she did. Of course I imagine she would have struggled living in slums surrounded by death, disease and destruction. But obedience and perseverance prevailed.

I love her. I love what she stands for. I love her cheeky smile and I adore her humility. She was gracious and overflowing with a heavenly love. She was in all of my opnion...

Beauty!

Can't wait to finish the book- soo excited to finally have found something on her.

"What the poor need more, than food and clothing, is to simply be loved and feel wanted."

- Mother Teresa

On the 5th September, Mother Teresa would have passed away about 13 years ago. Hmm... can't wait to chill with her in heaven.

Book- "Something beautiful for God." by Malcom Muggeridge

Relationship Advice

Hmmm what to write ...what to write. I walked out of my door tonight and was hit with amazing smells from my mother's garden, fresh clear night ...and I wasn't freezing.

Spring.

It seriously does wonders for my soul.  I love Spring.

The first two days of the season have been pretty epic days. I could list details of yesterday but let's just say... I saw an echidna at work!! Need I say more... it was awesome. I was excited!

And today....well wow! I left the house at 7 am and am now sitting down to rest at 10:45 pm. Such a great day! Just got home from catching up with such a gorgeous girl- ahh she makes me smile. God's daughters are incredible creatures- the world underestimates their strength!

She lead me to ponder the following thoughts... Basically centered on this...

Relationship advice.

Haha...it still makes me chuckle. 

I've had increasingly more and more young girls chat to me about there frustrations, hurts and pains with the boys in their life, asking for advice- seeking answers.

I do my best, I guess most people just need someone to listen to right and encourage them... build them up. I always laugh though as to why they'd seek advice from me.. when I haven't had a relationship in the past 6 or so years. Surely people IN a relationship have a better chance of giving more convincing and real advice and encouragement than what i could offer...right?

Well no... I guess I disagree. As i thought about it. I have plenty of advice. Plenty of experience to draw from. Not only does years of listening and observing friend's relationships prove to be worth something. I've managed to continually mature and fall more and more in love, in a relationship based on faith.

I am content on focusing significant effort into my r'ship with God so that when the day comes, my cord of three strands will be tight as tight can be. I believe it to be the foundational relationship that every human relationship should be based on... and after 8 years of growing, seeking, loving, learning, struggling and celebrating....

I guess I do have just a little advice to offer.

Now that I've reinstated some confidence in my own ability...

Continue to ask away... and i'll do my best xox

Today

So today was a bit on the crap side.

Just one of those days with one thing effecting you after another! Meanwhile I am consciously aware that with each situation that comes my way I know I am the only one who can choose how I will respond. It's a challenge some times... automatically feeling a certain way- disappointed, anger, loneliness or whatever it is, and then knowing that God is more often than not calling you to respond differently...!

I went to worship practice tonight and appreciated these words...

I know that my Redeemer lives,

And now I stand on what he did

My Saviour, My Saviour lives

Every day a brand new chance to say

Jesus- You are the only way

My Saviour, My Saviour lives

It's reassuring that from one day to the next, no matter what type of day I've had, I have the privileged opportunity to stand in relationship with the Redeemer who lives. Every week, every day, in whatever situation, conversation, thought process in my head...I have a brand new chance to declare Jesus and seek His answers for my never ending questions!

Love x

103.2 for Operation Hope!

On Wednesday, 12 August breakfast radio host, Dan Widdowson from Sydney’s premier Christian radio station, Hope 103.2FM will attempt to complete a 85.7 kilometre walk in under 48 hours to raise funds for Wesley Mission’s youth and recreational services, in particular the Operation Hope program.

The fundraising walk kicks off in Gosford on the Central Coast with an outdoor live-to-air broadcast of the breakfast show on Hope 103.2FM from 6 – 9 am. From there Dan and two walking companions will set out on foot for approximately eight hours, aiming to traverse the 37.4 kilometres south to Brooklyn before nightfall.

Dan and the team will hit the pavement at 8am on Thursday, 13 August with their sights set on reaching Pennant Hills that evening with 34.5 kilometres (about seven and a half hours of walking) under their belt.

On Friday, 14 August they will make tracks at 4.30am with only 13.8 kilometres to complete before arriving at Hope 103.2FM’s studio at Seven Hills by 8am. Here they will be greeted by supporters, family and friends with a breakfast barbeque and the weary Dan will take a well-earned seat as he joins his co-host, Aaron, on the breakfast show. Wesley Mission’s CEO, the Rev Keith Garner will be there to meet the walkers and be interviewed on the breakfast show.

Operation Hope Walk Schedule
Day 1: Gosford to BrooklynDistance: 37.4 kilometresWalking time: 7 hours 58 minutes
• 6 – 9am, Outside broadcast at William St outdoor plaza, off Mann St, Gosford
• 9am – 5:30pm, Dan walks from Gosford to Brooklyn via old Pacific Highway.
• 5:30pm, Arrive at accommodation on Brooklyn Rd.

Day 2: Brooklyn to Pennant HillsDistance: 34.5 kilometresWalking time: 7 hours, 22 minutes
• 8am - 4:30pm, Depart and walk to accommodation on Castle Hill Rd.

Day 3: Pennant Hills to Seven HillsDistance: 13.8 kilometresWalking time: 2 hours 50 mins
• 4:30am, Depart accommodation on Castle Hill Rd.
• 7:00am Outside broadcast begins @ Hope 103.2FM station, 2 Leabons Lane, Seven Hills.
• 8:00am Dan arrives at Seven Hills

What is Operation Hope??

Operation Hope is a sponsorship program which seeks to build self esteem, heighten self worth and encourage children to believe in themselves.
Through participation in outdoor adventure-based activities, team building experiences and other life-changing programs children are validated and affirmed as individuals who are valued and have a purpose.
Operation Hope also sponsors children and families to attend camps at Wesley Mission’s recreation centre Vision Valley.
Some children are physically or intellectually disabled. Others have witnessed domestic violence, or experienced abuse, neglect or family breakdown. Many are orphans or foster children unable to live with their parents. They are all at risk of drifting into anti-social behaviour such as taking drugs, binge drinking, engaging in petty crime – some are even homeless.

Through Operation Hope sponsored programs Wesley Mission hopes to break the cycle of hopelessness and steer these young people towards a life of purpose.

For more information go to : www.operationhope.com.au or if you're interested in leading at one of these camps, shoot me an email at nat.owen@wesleymission.org.au

To become wise...

So it takes 17 readings to write 2 036 words, a social life sacrificed for a week and a half to get to this...

Jesus Christ sent to die on a wooden cross for the salvation of mankind is God's wisdom revealed.

We become wise when we understand the power involved in this and take on board this revelation. 

If you want to become wiser, become more like Jesus!

So simple haha....

Next essay: Apocalyptic literature...yeeeeiw

Over and out x

You want to change the world?

"I see an enthusiastic passionate group of people IN revival with the potential to change the world, but, I also see a group of people who are publicly passionate, but privately do not have the required devotion."

- Robert Ferguson

In my own life, sadly this is evidently true! I know I'm only at my best and on a totally different playing field when I've surrendered some time in the morning, sacrificed a sleep in maybe, to get up and prioritise my day with a quiet time just God and I! 

The beauty I find in Quiet times... you can do it anytime and anywhere. I usually refer to them as my little dates with God, sometimes we go down into the bush and sit by little waterfalls, other times we drive to the beach. Other times we sit and ponder at local look outs. And other times...I sit by the fire, or in my car or in my bed with journal. You do whatever you enjoy... because truth is... He enjoys it too!

You want to change the world? Well.. You know where to start...

5:45 wake up call

It's 5:45 am. I'm snuggled nicely. "Nat- you coming?"

The doona's off. Freezing. Mum's already on her way. I get changed as quickly as possible. Hands are shaking. Off to the toilet. Headphones in. Brace myself. Open the front door...NOW it's freezing.

One step out and I'm running. My mum had a head start and it's my goal to catch her. She walks, I run. Only thing is... she walks at the speed of light. Change the song. Turn up my Jesus music. It's dark, the stars are still out. I'm in a world of my own. My step's are steady in motion. 

I'm running the race. My day is now set in motion. Something catches my eye to the left. A stunning white single rose in full bloom. Massive. In the middle of heaps of twigs and brown bush. I want to be that rose. I want to stand out with an inner beauty...not by doing anything spectacular. But just by being who I was created to be.

The race is still on. I haven't stopped yet. Half way up the hill and I spot my target. Yeeeew! Run harder. Steady breaths. It's hurting- keep persisting. Damn she walks fast. 

Caught. Not my PB. But still good. We keep trekking on. A smile on my face.

Each morning puts my day in perspective: I get up early not just for exercise. But with a deeper intention. My mum's salvation means everything to me. As i physically walk with mum at early hours of the morning, I am reminded of my purpose. Each morning I still wake up to many of my close family and friends facing an eternity without God. My heart, focus, prayers get aligned with God and I set out into the day ready to be His hands, feet and mouth. My mum and I walk together physically but spiritually there is something much more powerful going on.

Christ the Wisdom and Power of God

What am I learning?

1 Cor 18- 31- a few summary points as I read for my assignment.

- Paul touches on many different issues in his letters to the Corinthians, however the main point he seeks to get through to his readers is this- the wisdom of the cross!

- The Corinthians are caught up in superiority, self-pride and self-satisfaction. They looked for signs, miracles & were caught up in 'earthly wisdom'. Consumed by this they failed to grasp the wisdom and miraculous sign that was displayed to them through Jesus Christ.

- It was an absurdity and an offence that the 'long awaited Saviour' would be crucified on a cross- it was seen that those hung were cursed by God. A contradiction indeed- it is in fact the crucification that lies at the very centre of our Christian faith. 

- Paul's conjunction of power & wisdom in verse 24 is important to note. If wisdom was the only way through to God, the 'intellectually gifted' would be the only ones with access. However, it is the power of the cross that opens the way for anyone to overcome evil and access His Kingdom. This wisdom is far more superior to any 'earthly wisdom' spoken of.

Jesus Christ= God's wisdom

Nat Owen= a lowly sinner bought into a new life in Jesus.

Nat Owen= is still discovering 'God's wisdom'.

Nat Owen= called by God, chosen by Him.

Nat Owen= is a work in progress...

Forgiveness

Youth centre.  All can change in half a second. Yr 6 Boy- snaps. Yelling swear words, pool cues being javelinned across the room, pool table balls gripped in his hands. Outside the balls are now rolling across the cement and a concrete block has been hurtled at some of the girls. Lucky... everything missed it's intended target by cm's. 

After calming down he worked up the courage and apologised to the group of girls. Their response- they blatantly refused his apology stating they'd rather hold a grudge against him and that they would never forgive him. What followed was one of the most challenging conversations i've had with a bunch of girls. No matter what ways we looked at it- we couldn't see eye to eye on anything to do with the matter. Thinking back on the situation i think there's two reason why...

1. Seeing the bigger picture.

One of the most important things i've learnt about youth work is that every kid has a story. Every kid has a reason for acting the way they do. When a kid erupts like that....there's something going on deep inside. When you understand & acknowledge that- engaging with young people takes a whole new approach. They're not 'psychopaths'...they're hurt and struggling with stuff... like everyone else.

2. Experiencing true forgiveness

Being forgiven from the Creator of all we see, the Saviour of the world, the Lord who sees all and knows all! Knowing that He is gracious enough to forgive me when He knows everything I've done...How can I then choose not to forgive the people in my life? We all stand forgiven and yet think we have the right to be bitter at people, and hold grudges and never forgive people for petty things they've done to us?!?

I pray that those girls one day experience the forgiveness of their Heavenly Daddy so that they to... can learn to forgive and see people the way He sees them.

Spirit

Spirit now living and dwelling within me

Keep my eyes fixed ever on Jesus' face

Let not the things of this world ever sway me

I'll run till I finish the race....

Reflections- Motions or LIFE?

Thoughts...

For a month now I feel like I keep having out of body experiences where I can see what Im not doing  and know what I should be doing...but still remain ..stagnant. I know I was created for soo much more. Step up Nat...


Been reflecting alot on how I'm actually doing and feeling, am i just going through the motions of each day or REALLY living out the potential and fullness of each opportunity. Im sick of the day to day. I want to be obedient and attuned with His spirit- ready to jump in whatever direction He leads. I want to be continually suprised by the ways He chooses to use me. I am continuously suprised.....but I know there's soo much more out there Im missing. Life should be soo much more than this. I want to live unexpectedly... on edge...not knowing how the day will turn out. I want to rest my head each night knowing that I gave it my all.

And it starts now, one prayer and one step of faith.......followed by another and another....

Conquered

Heel side- conquered.

Falling leaf- conquered.

Toe side- pretty much conquered.

Linking turns- on the way to being conquered.

All in all i'd say snowboarding....conquered!

It was 6am Friday morning and the word 'cold' had a whole new meaning! Walking became a whole new adventure as most of the ground was covered in ice. With 40 cm of fresh powder and an ongoing snowfall- we were pretty keen to hit the slopes. The time finally came, walking past the hot donut shop, up the stairs which the previous year was a painful obstacle in ski boots, in my snow boots I almost frollicked my way to the top. There in front of us- sheer beauty! The slopes and everything before it engulfed in white! You can't help but connect with God in a whole new way...

After our group lesson and other boarders dropping out like flies, it was time to bite my lip and hit the chairlift. With very brief advice to getting on and off I took to the challenge and depending on your perspective failed and succeeded each time for the rest of that day. I always made it to the top, generally pain free but always with a goofy stack accompanying the trip.

The one thing I love about chair lifts though is the people you meet. Being stuck on an elevated chair for at least 5-10mins with absolute strangers provides the breeding ground for great conversations with great people! To professional business men, fathers, irish backpackers to people from Strathfield, to others who wakeboard.....you can meet some amazing people!

All in all- I got it! I could get down the hill without stacking it. I could go down heel side (facing forward) and toe side (facing uphill) which led me to link my turns...semi successfully. The after effects resulted in pain in every core muscle in an intense way. And I thought I was fit..whoa!

I have never hurt soo much in my life! I've also never fallen over soo many times either! On my butt, knees, head, shoulder, elbows...you name it I fell on it! Motto- Go Hard THEN Go Home!

Was it worth it? Oh my heck yes! I have just entered into my eternal love affair with snow boarding. . . . . 

Fears Shmears

I'd hate to think that I let a four letter word get in the way of me experiencing the most out of life.

Which is why I'm making a conscious effort to go out of my comfort zone and do the things I normally wouldn't do! Example one- surfing.

Next adventure- snow boarding this friday and saturday. Not long enough to become pro but long enough to grasp the basics. In my head I have mad images of me making it down the slopes elegantly but with style, but realistically I don't have that much faith in myself, I know it will be far from that....I'm petrified!

So i write this in one piece, generally with no scars or bruises...we'll see how it is when I recount of my adventures next week...


Nice knowing ya x

Change

is constant...

Does it have to be this often though?

At the moment

- Found my journal I was looking for...was in the door of my car the whole time.

- Thinking of the quote someone told me " Never give up on something you don't go a day without thinking of" ... hmmm not sure if I want to agree...

- Continually getting headaches going from hot to cold to hot to cold....Bring on Summer

- Feeling heavy burdens that I need to hand to God...I want to hand to God. My pride and weakness are serving as massive obstacles...shouldnt my pride and weakness be my motive to give it over?

- Need a holiday...feel a weekend up at Nelsons Bay is on the Horizon...

- Appreciating the sun as opposed to rain...hope it holds out till Friday. Another surf adverture awaits...

- Have had a revelation about the book Revelations...I think it's my new favourite!

- am sick of gossip....Girls can be cruel.

- reading a book a month placing me in the top 1% of the world.

- facing my next fear in 9 days....snowboarding!

- am loving the fact I get to study the book I love- yet get a qualification for it...feels like Im being cheeky!

- am still falling in love with my first! He is so gracious to me at the moment...

Ripples

"I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples..."


Mother Teresa

Today

What a great day!

I'm absolutely knackered but when I think back on the day I can have a little laugh!

Great company! Great weather! Great waves...

I'm sore in places that normally aren't! I have bruises in places I don't think I've ever had!

I pushed myself in ways I didn't think I would! I got dumped and hit in the head...a couple of times. But was able to get back up and laugh it off.

The sun kissing my face, the spray casting full rainbows just for a glance, the panoramic view of sand and cliff....

I think I'm in love...

Stunted souls

“If we could see beneath the surface of many a life, we would see thousands of people within the church are suffering spiritually from ‘arrested development’. They never reach spiritual maturity; they never do all the good they intended to do; and this is due to the fact that at some point in their lives they refused to go further…. They refused to take the one step which would have opened up for themselves a new and vital development. They suffer on in life as stunted souls!”

- Olive Wyon, The School of Prayer.

Where could it be?

Alright whoever has it- fess up!

How can it be that out of the 15 journals i CAN find....the one that I'm looking for isn't one of them? Soo typical! To add to the problem I can't remember what it looks like. I just know I wrote something in it March last year and need it...well want it!

Hmmm...I couldn't get to sleep last night over it...

It's out there...

She knows...

To one of God's incredible daughters,

I am thinking of you! I am fighting for you! I am praying for you! I am your cheerleader! I will always encourage you and speak words of purpose and love into your life! I pray that you would begin to see, not only what I see in you but what your Heavenly Daddy sees- everyday!

You look at yourself and see a crumpled mess.

I look at you and see the beauty of God's grace.

You look at yourself and see weakness & despair.

I look at you and see a pillar of strength & rays of Hope.

You look at yourself and see insecurities and failures.

I look at you and see a healed heart. I see past, present and future victories.

You look at yourself and see doubt and uncertainty.

I look at you and see a God who defines faithfulness and certainty.

You look at yourself and see a hypocrite

I look at you and see a Daughter of the King with all blemishes removed!

You look at yourself and see no value or love.

I look at you and see an invaluable creation knitted together with love.

You look at yourself and can't see past the pain.

I look at you and see Jesus surrendering Himself for your very pain.

Even though I know you don't believe it the facts remain true-

You are Incredible

You are a Stunner- Beautiful inside and out

You are worth more than any engagement ring goin around.

You are worth dying for!

You are a warrior!

You are a pillar of Strength.

You are a beacon of light and of hope!

You are a role model.

You are created for more than second best.

You are Unique!

You are loved beyond description.

You are a Princess- a Daughter of the King!

You are a CHILD OF GOD! That in itself is beyond comprehension....

You are amazing...

If I believe this of you- how much more must God think this of you!

Sex, Lust & Love

Youth Group tonight...

Topic- Sex Lust & Love

Key verse from what we learnt... Proverbs 4: 23

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

Prayer

Found this in an email...from a friend about 2 years ago! Gold!!!

"Poverty stricken as the church is today in many things, she is most stricken here, in the place of prayer. We have many organizers, but few agonizers; many players and payers, but few prayers; many singers but few lingerers; lots of pastors but few wrestlers; many fears, few tears; much fashion, but little passion; many interferers, but few intercessors; many writers, but few fighters. Failing here, we fail everywhere." 

- Leonard Ravenhill

Tomorrow awaits....

A new day in waiting....

I cannot wait! I have set the morning apart to have a date with God. To adventure with Him!

We're heading to the beaches (of course)...

I will Be Still, Be romanced, Be held accountable, Be challenged...maybe face some fears...maybe not....depends on the weather! But in everything I will delight in His presence!

I'll get a good run in...

Do some discipling...

Have our 1st girls group we've been wanting to do for ages @ Rivo....

I am excited!

I have great expectations for tomorrow- but pray that in everything I do, God would glorify Himself! That I would become less and that He would become more!

Tomorrow awaits...

Psalm 63

¹ O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

² I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

³ Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

⁴ I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

⁵ My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

⁶ On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

⁷ Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.

⁸ My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

It's all about Him...

Love it....

Anger, tears and a breaking heart

I’m not an angry person. In fact you have to work pretty hard to see me angry. However...this said, there are a few things that I’m beginning to realise keep me up at night and stir in my spirit.

I was at some (counseling type) training this week and saw a piece of paper where a little boy had written down things that made him angry and how he could change them. In his little hand writing it said “for mum to stop the sex”. There was another story about a girl who had been sexually abused by her brother, her mum soon after died, her father physically abused her, and she ended up running away with her other little brother who was also being abused....and she was only a young teenage girl.

I watched Slumdog Millionaire during the week as well, and was shocked with how I dealt with it. There were no tears like I was expecting, especially having recently coming back from India and falling in love with the kids over there.

Instead I sat with it awhile. It’s one of those movies that keeps creeping back into my head out of nowhere. I get scenes flashing in my head, I hear the voices of little kids yelling or whimpering, I see their eyes- so big...searching.

It breaks my heart. But more than that- it makes me angry. The deceit, the prostitution, the abuse, the greediness, the broken relationships, the unnecessary death that is saturating this world. There’s no words I can use to truly express how wrong it is. It seriously causes me tears...I hate it. I don’t really get angry nor do I hate. I hate hating. But this.....I hate with a passion!

How do I change the mindset of families stuck in the cycle of abuse. How do I provide hope to young people who just think that’s the way life is. How do I provide opportunity for those who have never had the chance. Personally I feel 100% inadequate and incapable to devote my life to those who are hurting and lost. However I am 100% sure of the fact that in surrendering my life to the creator of this universe, my Abba- our Heavenly Father who IS adequate and capable, He will work in and through me and provide me with the answers, knowledge, words and resources needed for whoever I come across....

Break my heart for what breaks yours

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

I don’t want to do this alone....

I can’t!

Unbelief

Great night! Great worship! Great teaching!

Went to Powerhouse tonight and am just reflecting on the msg. Josh, pastor from CCC Oxford Falls, spoke about handing over our unbelief to God.

In Mark 9 Jesus is with a father and his boy who is in need of some serious healing.

The father says to Jesus, "If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us."

Key word= if

Jesus throws it backs in his court...." I can do anything IF you believe.."

The father says this, "I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief."

I was challenged with the unbelief in my own life.

What areas do I say I believe, but underneath have doubt.

I think of my sister and my mum and how much I long to see them know Jesus and be in love with Him. I believe that that day will come...but I think there's a whole lot of unbelief that accompanies it.

I believe by stepping out of my comfort zone, surrendering myself to the Spirit- God could use me to lead incredible worship. However- if I believed this 100%...why haven't I said yes yet?!

I believe that God does have someone incredible picked out for me and that my time will come, but I still get upset and struggle at times when everything around me is about boys, weddings and love- all great things, however I find myself continually joking that i'll be that old single crazy cat lady that lives down the street.

For years it's been on my heart that "God has set me apart to be something special" (quoted from my mirror) which I totally believe, yet there's in my head... insecurities, imperfections, past failures, lack of experience, knowledge and wisdom that cause too much of an obstacle for me to REALLY believe in God's power and faithfulness.

These areas of unbelief limit the potential of what I am allowing God to do in my life. He is willing....I am the one who believes He is incapable or unwilling.

He is willing= Fact

He is capable= Fact

God- more than ever I want to believe with every part of me that you are willing and capable in all these areas and everything else I bring before you. I'm sorry when I limit you in my own life because I place human limitations on ...you- a Holy indescribable being. Help me in my unbelief! Please...

Running

So I set out on my run today, in my new shoes, down towards my bush track.

Step by step my mind began to clear of everything petty and focused on what was important.

As I ran alongside the creek (which looked like something off LOTR mind you) I began to ponder how my running was quite similar to my journey with God.

Bare with me...

1st- you have to want it.

Have you noticed how far you will go with something if your heart’s not in it. If I’m out running and I really don’t want to be there...I won’t last that long. In order for me to move forward and closer to God- I need to want it, even when it’s hard and I feel discouraged it’s about persevering because in the long run...I know it’s worth it.

2nd- You need support/ Equip yourself

If you're serious about running you don't just chuck on anything and go for a run barefoot. No- you wear the appropriate clothing, you need proper supportive running shoes in order to protect you from getting hurt (hopefully). Just as your relationship with God, if you're serious you will do whatever it takes to support and protect yourself in your journey with Him. In Ephesians 6 it talks about protecting yourself with Armor of God! This is something that we should take up and put on daily!!!

3rd- Water/ Food

Speaks for itself really- I went for a run the other day on a completely empty stomach- not cool. Or when I go without sufficient water it feels like my brain is thumping against the sides of my head- I have to stop, it’s unbareable and so bad on the body. If we try and keep journeying forward with God without actually investing time with Him, learning from Him, growing in Him- we become stale...stagnant. We have nothing fresh to continue with. Our words become lifeless and we become less creative, passionate, loving, spirit-led....well maybe I am just speaking for myself. But I become more and more distant from Him and become more like the world. If I don't feed off His word and His love, it's only natural that I become hungry- the only problem is where I go to satisfy this hunger? 

4th- One eye on the now, One eye looking ahead!

Especially on bush runs, a wrongly placed foot can quickly become disaster. And when you're in the middle of bush with no phone and no-one knowing where you are....it's not really an ideal situation. Today I noticed how important it was for me to focus on each one of my steps as well as keeping an eye on my direction and upcoming branches and obstacles...not to mention spider webs (ahhh).

It really hit me how I need to do this in life as well. I have a tendency to charge through the day in order to experience the next day, without REALLY experiencing the present day! The amount of things I must miss God doing because I mind is focused on another day...with this in mind you need to keep a healthy balance of looking ahead....especially in regards to eternity!

5th- What voice will you listen to?

I get to this stage in my run where no matter how loud my music is, this voice pierces through all of it. "Just make it to the next corner and that will do! The hill's too steep I can't do that, Everything hurts I can't go on, I can just stop for a bit- I won't be long!" Most of the time...I then I grit my teeth and run even faster and harder with more passion and determination..however there is the odd ocassion I give in!

Unfortunately we allow this to happen far too often in our life. We get soo surrounded in "life" we can no longer hear the voice of God, or sometimes we are at a really good place with God yet that other voice still penetrates through. The devil himself, or by using other people, speaks into our lives criticizing us, insulting us, questioning us- and the sad thing is...we listen! As we listen to their voices sometimes we actually start to believe what they are saying- "we can't do this, it is impossible, I am too weak". Our journey is hindered...sometimes even stopped completely.

Is this the voice of the Almighty God- I don't think so! In fact i know so! We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. He promises to be by our side and to never let us go! We can run that hill in our lives! We can persevere even when it hurts! We can't afford to stop and listen in the wrong direction- there's too much at stake! 

I will keep running- even when it hurts! Because despite what I hear and sometimes feel, my God is soo worth it and I only want to be taking steps that GLORIFY Him, that HONOUR Him, that LOVE Him, that SERVE Him and that bring me and most importantly OTHERS into a closer relationship with Him!

Journal Entries

12.05.06

'Do not try to call them back to where they were, and do not try to call them to where you are, beautiful as that place may seem to you. You must have the courage to go with them to a place that neither you nor they have been before.' - Vincent Donovan

12.05.07

It's about time I let some of me out and let more of you in!

28.05.07

It is time...the time is now...

- Time to live a life of LOVE

- Time to live a life of HOPE

- Time to live a life of PURPOSE

- Time to live a life of REPENTENCE

- Time to live a life of PURITY

- Time to live a life of JOY

- Time to live a life of BLESSING

- Time to live a life of ENCOURAGEMENT

- Time to live a life SPIRIT-LED

- Time to live a life SET APART

- Time to live a life MAKING HISTORY

For His Glory!

Loving this song at the moment. Loving Tim Hughes really...

My actions, thoughts and purpose for each day totally change when I re-focus myself on doing it all for the glory of God. Not for myself...but for Him. Not only does He then have access to use me more freely each day, but I am always more aware and alert of the ways He does work in and through me! He's just soo good! I wish I could explain it more but I can't. How can you use words to describe the glory and power, yet love and gentleness that we find in our God!

Living for your glory - Tim Hughes

What good is it to gain the whole world

But lose your soul?

What good is it to make a sweet sound

But remain proud?

In view of God's mercy, I offer my all

And take my life, let it be everything, all of me

Here I am, use me for Your glory

In everything I say and do, let my life honour You

Here I am living for Your glory

The road I'm on that leads nowhere without You

And the life that I live that finds meaning and surrender

In view of God's mercy, I offer my all

Seeking first the Kingdom

Of my Lord

Amen x