Anger, tears and a breaking heart

I’m not an angry person. In fact you have to work pretty hard to see me angry. However...this said, there are a few things that I’m beginning to realise keep me up at night and stir in my spirit.

I was at some (counseling type) training this week and saw a piece of paper where a little boy had written down things that made him angry and how he could change them. In his little hand writing it said “for mum to stop the sex”. There was another story about a girl who had been sexually abused by her brother, her mum soon after died, her father physically abused her, and she ended up running away with her other little brother who was also being abused....and she was only a young teenage girl.

I watched Slumdog Millionaire during the week as well, and was shocked with how I dealt with it. There were no tears like I was expecting, especially having recently coming back from India and falling in love with the kids over there.

Instead I sat with it awhile. It’s one of those movies that keeps creeping back into my head out of nowhere. I get scenes flashing in my head, I hear the voices of little kids yelling or whimpering, I see their eyes- so big...searching.

It breaks my heart. But more than that- it makes me angry. The deceit, the prostitution, the abuse, the greediness, the broken relationships, the unnecessary death that is saturating this world. There’s no words I can use to truly express how wrong it is. It seriously causes me tears...I hate it. I don’t really get angry nor do I hate. I hate hating. But this.....I hate with a passion!

How do I change the mindset of families stuck in the cycle of abuse. How do I provide hope to young people who just think that’s the way life is. How do I provide opportunity for those who have never had the chance. Personally I feel 100% inadequate and incapable to devote my life to those who are hurting and lost. However I am 100% sure of the fact that in surrendering my life to the creator of this universe, my Abba- our Heavenly Father who IS adequate and capable, He will work in and through me and provide me with the answers, knowledge, words and resources needed for whoever I come across....

Break my heart for what breaks yours

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

I don’t want to do this alone....

I can’t!